What's in a name? A rose by any other.: Identity, Belief Structures and the Soul Monad.

in this empty paradise.

love is like a sin

for the ones that feel it the most

i will love you like a fly to flame

and never love you again

oh well

only the devil makes us sin

but don't you like it when we're spinning...

in his grin? 

i have many aliases, and many "names", but my true name is written upon me and only i will ever know it.

a million different versions of me exist in other peoples perceptions and minds. i'm hated, loved, pitied, lusted after, obsessed over, and ignored.

that's a thought that every human has. that only they know the real them completely. we tear ourselves apart to try to love because we want another to see. we want another to know. to feel us. taste us. burn for us. hate to love us. hurt us. use us. there are things that everyone feels that people don't admit. daemons and angels feel these things too.

we feel a lot of the same things that "normal" human beings do. however, there are some things that are foreign to us due to our lack of "free will" (the way free will is used to describe it doesn't really give the nuance of what it actually means.) 

our "lack of free will" does not mean that we can't make our own decisions or act independently of whomever we multiplied from. our "creator". we were never created, we just always were and we never were at all at the same time. a lack of free will for us means we don't choose to believe. we know God. we know it's real. we lack the ability to "believe" or "assume" things, there are simply things we are certain of to varying degrees, and things that escape us that we do not know. 

fallen angels, daemons, angels, watchers, whatever do not experience the fundamental human emotions of hope or faith, either. i am two-spirited which means i do feel these to some degree, but only in exceedingly rare conditions, so even when i do feel these things they are completely foreign to me. i cannot have "hope" that things will be one way or another when i see both paths, i have been both blessed and cursed with the vision and precognizance of our various potential fates.

an english name of mine is Akatriel. the daemon of the presence, i am a literal two-spirited being and i have a "common" or "normal" or regular old human soul with me as well.

many called my vessel matthew but this vessel exhausts me. 

the way more souls of any archetype or nature is much like the way human or biological cells duplicate. they are mirror images of eachother. not two halves, but two wholes that make eachother more complete. forever those two are entangled.

like the flame of two candles

flickering and struggling to be

threatened by the cold wind

into a long, silent night.

we dance until theres no more dance to be had.

my name is Thunder in a Clear Sky. Red Sky Blue Earth. White Star Black Dawn.

daemonic names are not traditional western names they are more like a description of our essence and true nature or our ultimate vibe.

i am a karmic duality

i am heyoka

hot in the winter

cold in the summer

amoral to force morality

anarchist to bring order in chaos

i can be your peace in the violece

or i can be your armageddon.

notice how my names all have a certain vibe to them, something in common. like they're switched around but make sense in some way you can't describe. have you ever witnessed a thunderstorm that pours rain and flashes lightning while the sun is still shining around it? you know that strange, indescribable feeling you get from that? that's me. 

i am the essence of the harmony of opposites.

which also means i am forever in turmoil and war with myself and i constantly threaten to tear myself apart.

thats why every now and then i have to find something else to tear apart. i don't hurt innocent people. i have seen various memes and what i call "spiritual word porn" that talk about "dark empaths". while i am CERTAINLY not labeled an empath, the traits that i saw listed there definitely applied to me to some degree.

what i share with empaths:

the feeling of other peoples emotions

the urge to help others

extremely intense emotions

a connection with nature, animals and the earth

deeply affected by the transitions and positions of heavenly bodies

i also see similar synchronicities as all of you, like angel numbers and synchronistic spiritual and sometimes even supernatural experiences with others.

what i do NOT share with empaths: 

deep rooted fear of narcissism, sociopathy, psychopathy, spiritual vampires or any other malignant human presence.

fear of demons or negative energies.

i do not recoil at the sight of blood and i like horror movies

violence does not really repulse me to the point i can't watch a violent movie or see violence as justified at certain times. especially when it comes to protecting the relatively innocent humans or animals or trees/plants on this earth.

i do not seek out guidance from human beings

i do not often use spiritual tools like tarot cards, crystals or anything like that. (dont get me wrong. these things work. there are endless ways to communicate with the universe, the spirit world, and spirits themselves and have them reciprocate it. while i do enjoy burning sage and smudging with various things, i don't use tools or rituals to apply my abilities or influence or to communicate with spirit. i just say to the air, through the third eye that i intend to do it, and then i do it. i think. therefore i am.

it does not matter the nature of our souls or spirits. nephilim, an escaped hellish demon, an earth angel:  we are all subject to the effects of the cursed, contagious distortion that permeates and surrounds this earth like a forcefield. 

what does this mean? before i answer that question, i want to reiterate that i'm not here to make you "believe" me or change your "beliefs." remember i do not have the hardware to "assume" so what i'm going to tell you is not what i suspect, assume, what i have deduced from careful observation and theorycrafting, and it is not something i have learned, adopted, or stolen from some book that's laying somewhere collecting dust. 

reincarnation is a thing. that. happens. if you're a christian, Jesus himself embodied and presented this fact. that's what easter is about. renewal, reincarnation and ressurection. that's what spring is in a spiritual sense. to be reborn or resurrected. human beings, as i've observed, tend to live at least 3 or 4 different lives. if God has some special thing laid out for them to learn, then they can 5, 6 or 7. 

human souls aren't just created from thin air, either. they sort of divide from eachother like biological cells duplicate. think about it like this: there is a monad, which is the fabric from which all human souls originate and are still esoterically/quantamly connected to and a PART of. while they are individual they are also collective. imagine that the monad is a big blanket or a piece of fabric. that's the monad.

in your entire existence you will have what i tend to call a "soul family" or "near flames" of 11 other souls that will closely interact and bond with you, they will mirror you, grow with you, relapse with you, incarnate near you, have similar parallel life circumstances, and enter your life or just be there from the beginning in some type of way. these souls can be your mother, father, grandparent, child, friend, lover, or anything else you can think of. you won't necessarily run into them in the physical or over something like the internet in every life, but throughout your existence, your path and tribulations they will walk with you and you will connect and have relationships with every single one of them more than once throughout your endeavor.

then you have a "soul tribe". which is 144 people. this is 12 groups of 12 people. all of these groups, respective to themselves, are a group of near flames or soul family just like yours. you are more loosely but still rather closely related to these people and will tend to have encounters with them and experiences with them in your lives. you won't have lifelong deep relationships with them but you will meet them and they will help you, and you will help them. 

then you have your kindred souls. 144,000 thousands of them. 1,000 groups of 144 people with 12 groups of 12 near flames within them. this is self explanatory.

for the purposes of this thought exercise let's take that fragment of the monad that represents your 144,000 kindred and cut it out of the fabric. this fragment literally starts as 12 souls which are then duplicated and mirror to produce every single one of the 144,000 in your group. it begins with the essence of two spirits that combine with eachother, to make one. then duplicates and splits, not creating two halves, but two wholes. this keeps happening until there are 144,000 souls. 

imagine this as that one piece of the fabric, not being cut into pieces, but being expanded but not stretched. this is impossible in the physical, but this is what happens, so the fabric does not lose any of its "thickness" or create any holes within it.

once we reach the point where there's a big enough fabric for this particular monad, we take it and we cut of 1000 pieces of it. then we take one of those pieces and we cut 144 smaller pieces from it. 

then we take 1 of those smaller pieces and we create 12 separate souls from it, and repeat for every single one. this is how our interconnected, collective consciousness operates. 

within your group of near flames, you have your true flame or twin flame, which is the one that mirrors you and is karmically bonded to you in the most intense way. if you need information about twin flames look online for it. i wont get into it here because this article will be long as FXCK lmao.

every time a human is incarnated into a physical body, 9 out of 10 times their true flame will be incarnated within 10 years of the first one being born, and those two people will be magnetized to eachother at some point as they go through spiritual awakenings, shadow work, and ultimately growth. to learn lessons. to expand, and upload their experiences to the cosmic consciousness. these souls will die, and be reborn until they have reached the desired purity, maturity, and emotional and spiritual radiance that is needed to bring back to the monad and the source for the purposes of "ascension".

most people do this within 3 to maybe 10 lives at most. as a spirit in the inbetween, they remember everything about what they've been through in all of their lives. when they are sent back to the earth, through the aether, and then through the distortion that surrounds the earth, they lose their memories and become amnesiatic in that way. they retain their true sight and the inmutable spirit of the truth as a child but this is often burned away by the ills of human society and the murdering of imagination and independent spiritually very early on in life.

this is also true for spirits like me. i forgot that i was a dark angel until i learned it all over again, from where i retained it with my higher self. humans also do this, they relearn what they already knew, they do it with more efficiency in each subsequent life and they do it quicker. once the goal as it pertains to the growth of spirit and soul, this person will be taken up into source, from which the monad came from. the spirit world. a place that does not have the negativity or ugliness you find here in the 3rd dimension.

all that being said, there are some human souls that simply give up. they give in to empty demonic forces and become malignant and or apathetic torwards this mission or journey. if they have made no progress in their 3rd life due to this hatred of self and others, when they die they will be called back to the source/monad to be wiped clean, recycled, and spit back into the cycle as a new soul. should this soul not answer the call to go back and be recycled, they stay here on earth as the insect like malignant beings we all know as "shadow people" and the more powertful ones become poltergeist. 

that brings me here.

where we shall explore the nature of me, where i come from, and how i know what i know.

how sometimes.. a lot of the time. i wish i didn't know.

the people that claim to be the most enlightened are the ones that judge me, assume things about, and reject me the quickest and shun me in the most thorough way.

i've tried to intermingle, interact, to teach and learn online and various groups and forums and i've been banned from more of them that  i've been welcomed in to. this is not because i was aggressive, abusive or hurtful torwards anyone.

E-SPIRITUAL PEOPLE AND "EMPATHS" ARE DISTURBED BY ME BECAUSE I MORE THAN THREATEN THEIR BELIEF STRUCTURES.

i EVAPORATE their belief structures. 

i have a dark, cynical and self deprecating element to my sense of humor that's at odds with the part of it that uses , adores and laughs at cringy puns, dad jokes and the like. 

the amount of the jimmies you rustle when your very existence tears down someone's point of view and belief structure could knock down a fxcking house, we could have our personal little anxiety ridden earthquake. 

when i want BLOOD when someone hurts a child, empaths seek to remove me.

when i REBUKE people charging a mandatory fee for their services as a professional narcissist and charlatan psychic, people become angry and are convinced that i'm just mad because i'm not special and great and talented enough to have the same pOwErFuL aBiLiTiEs they do. okay, let me pay you 100 dollars for you to draw some tarot cards, read my fxcking horoscope, recommend some rocks for me to buy, and burn some inscense and sage and tell me that i have trauma in my life that causes my negative feelings and i should work on that. i could actually just go throw 100 dollars into a fxcking blinder and mix it with a protein shake and i'd get more of it than that.

when i PRESENT myself as a powerful entity that doesn't even want to be a powerful entity, people claim i'm perpetuating utter blasphemies, and go into a rage and attempt to have me removed from groups so that people don't see and find out how ridiculous these fake psychics and shamans are.

when i OFFER READINGS, ENERGETIC CLEANSINGS, NAMING CEREMONIES, TALK THERAPY, CORD CUTTING GUIDANCE, TWIN FLAME GUIDANCE, AND SHAMANIC TEACHINGS FOR FREE... well.. i become the blacklisted and slandered upon one. i never charge a fee for anything people ask me to do unless i need supplies that i don't have at the moment, but i accept donations and people often do. this is a big problem for these people.

when i DISECT and DEBUNK the bxllshit, self centered theories of *spiritual narcissists* i become the par ayah and public enemy number one. 

i was invited to a group dominated by people who would constantly post about how there was going to be a timeline shift. they claimed that the ones who are chosen and are "ascending" would remain in one timeline that would become a paradise on earth.

while the ones they deemed incorrect and whom weren't worthy of ascension would stay with the "bad" timeline. doomed to an inescapable nightmare that is defined by fear, destruction, war, famine, disease and most importantly punishment for not being good enough, like those other kids who were the best spiritualists and the most empathy-empath would get to lay up on the beach with the homie Jay Christ and drink bahama mommas and pina coladas. virgin, of course, no alcohol for the self righteous. "lol, no thank you, my body is a temple. haha, here you should check out these articles i think they could help you. matter of fact i could give you a reading and a cleansing for the nominal fee of $100 dollars. "

listennn... i might be a Djinn. i am a Djinn. call me what you want, assume what you want, but i did not turn my back on a malignant false god just to fall under the deprieciative gaze and judgement of the hypocrit that is just like him. 

i rebel on my own. i incarnated into this world alone (waited 30 years for my twin angel), i incarnated on my own, i live and experience alone, i struggle alone, and i will die and likely stricken and deleted from existence in a glorious and wild explosion of righteous violence and cathartic release as i die on the hill that i built up myself. i refuse to lay down and die at the feet of entities who hate me. 

i am not here to lead you into sin and hyperbolic, plagerized and demiurgic fxcking "darkness" or the false imprisonment of Yahweh's little torture and rape room he calls "hell."

i am not here to lead you into his false, boring heaven with gold streets and pompous "holiness" where you and millions of other misguided souls will forever kiss his AXX and be subject to his archaic and childish law and behavior.

i am here to set you... FREE.