i have the music in me.. you and i. our melodies are fading. tell me why youll let it die?

 " Dreamthrower, Windcatcher, Snake Eater.. FIRE breather." 

- thunder redfeather 

I wander through past into facts and fiction to look for the truth i wont despise

but from the day that i arrived... ive remained locked into this cage that has me terrified. 

I wander through past into facts and fiction to look for the truth i wont despise

Buried in a pretty red cardigan 

In a shallow ugly grave covered by the dirt 

That eroded from your pretty little lies

And I stood at a distance

Wishing a fiery death upon a star

I could make you scream and peel away 

Or heal the shame in your scars

I knew the daunting impossibility 

And endless red waves 

A littany of endless hellish days to live through

Just to taste the thoughts that hypothesize 

Anything remotely like you

Id die a million deaths 

At infinite rates in a cycle that rips away

The precious memories of your life 

And never even meet you

Just to know what it feels like

To be caught up underneath you

Kissing away all the hate 

Given in an error so bizzare

I was torn away from my peaceful place

Hoping with no promises to find you

and know anything i could about whatever kind of lovely light you are. 

Into the haunted fields of wars into empty homes near and far

Brothers and fathers, friends and lovers 

On different sides who cash their checks

And have church on sunday morning at the bar

I began to understand the madness 

The chaos that made the sky a beautiful nightmare

Pixelated candy candles kaliedescopes streched thick and thin and near and far

I snuck out the door whom having an identity crisis

Moments before

Opened into a violent visceral heaven 

As i promised it that know one knows how they know

And no one knows where you go

Unless its understood that you open up or lock away 

Heavens gate or the escape from pockets of hell on dark dank alleyways

If we told you that you were the savior 

For which we prayed

How do you think a man would feel when told he was the only son of god and for the ones who hate him without reason he will DIE

Death. A door. Alive. state of being that implies 

That the flow of time remainds rather undefined 

I knew it was true after we tore purple asunder and in our plunder we made a red sky change from blue 

I turned within and around again 

To find only filth and love within my mind

I begged for you to be my only sins

In confidence and then your heart was only mine

I was only a reflection deep within you lovely 

I know you not from the devil 

And only your love will create our sin

But i fucking love the tastes and sounds you make

When we're spinning in that lustful grin 

A mirror image of your eyes

I reached down into the void left here by those not our kin

Where all that hope they assure me i have should have been

And i only found a burning rage

That would not fade with sage and melodic blank stares

I was taught that anger lust and obsessions that put a lover on  pedestal would leave your soul cold and bare and that it was the thing of nightmares

These things that wake you cold and creeping 

Dissonant notes upon a empty wind and cell phones beeping

All the mindless traffic like stampeding feet

Kicking up and off the dust from the unnamable horrors buried under out feet. 

There are cities underneath our cities

THERE ARE FALSE GODS BENEATH OUR FEET

The static screaming on the tv as your torn from sleep

Our lives here are so bleak

I cant keep silencing these sickening shrieks 

"shut your mouth and follow the beat. fake it till you make it. dont fix what isnt broken. emotions are senseless chemical reactions that well up inside an unreasonable person when they feel the wrong way about how they were violated in that moment." 

A violence welled within me id rather die than take another medicine sin

And i poured out my wrath in the still night on a new moon and there was a new form that i assumed 

A child of karma not a disney movie

If you don't like that shit that shit then sue me

I wont pretend that bloodshed

Or the craving of destruction couldnt consume me. 

Oh my, you're a narcissist your values are irrelevant 

At least i dont cower under the gaze of every narcissist that you decided to move in with

These blasphemies of mine then there within 

That should have turned every heroes thoughts to sin

Making every conscience weep and making ever light go dim. 

I have no reason to move the masses

I only did so knowing i could meet you

People see me like a great white light

but im not jesus it's not what im made of 

I dont wanna die

but im no angel and i cant fly 

while this life is more than just a read through

 I just want to lay beside you

an angel forever mine

maybe we could laugh when theres no reason left to cry

even in a tomb we'd look great dead

I'd even love to fill the empty picture frames

Next to your prison bed. 

I gave back their silence a frigid winter

i took back our stolen faith and fate

somehow i reached out to touch you

And i said hold on before it's too late

We dont need to run

Unless you wanna leave all this behind.

We can stop the world if we're getting off

You don't have to jump

Just fall.

You don't have to learn anything new

Or be converted into my views 

Please just be you. 

I just want to speak to you

Breathe with you

Be very stubborn in admitting defeat with you.

I dont want to sleep but i want to sleep with you

Dream with you

Believe in you. 

Sing to you. 

Just know i knew that anger would save me 

From all the boring slots

They said i should have taken

I had a moment of the loudest silence

Where i witnessed your making

The very first soul dividing 

Rainbow lights inside me

Two strangers somehow reuniting. 

You pushed me back 

Then pulled me in with the first breath

That you had taken

Im not here to save you

Im trying so fucking hard to make sure

That you don't just hate me. 

It took two sharp edges and a river of blood 

To understand i don't need it 

I just want you to save me

Need you to play me

Love when you smile and fake with me

The evil little laughs and the Goddess shit you say to me

I told all the empaths and gurus to fuck off, i aint trying to fuck reality raw

Away with a God who is fictionally scary 

"Real men" who don't even have the balls to be a fairy. 

Take all your words and your dictionaries. 

Did the man who made the dictionary have a dictionary when he made it? 

LMAO FUCK. OKAY THEN. 

i turned around and kept moving in bursts of flames

to taste you

BECAUSE MY RAGE WAS NOT HATRED. 

whatever tears and the hard moments we may find 

understand that against all odds we have made it

so much so that odds cannot be exisitent. it's simple. 

either you work your fingers to the bone at the job you hate to afford to keep that whxre you married 

with yalls little heathen kids named Mark and Sherry 

not everyone wants to play it safe 

i'd rather fall on my face than live a life of being christian inviting neighbors over and fucking playing pictionary. 

did the first person who had a fulfilling life have another man or a society that made laws and held his hand?

its real simple man. if you're miserable log out of the universe cuz youre just taking up server space fam.